The Truth about the Real World

My job is awesome
Staring at a computer
The cubicle life

Jersey Shore Tribute

Jager bombs always
Yo, fetch me a Heineken
Makes for a good night

Ace of Cakes

When the dogs awake
That is when I bake a cake
Filled with paprika

The Gyros Master

Jamal cooks gyros
Restaurant in Budapest
Makes my stomach churn

THINGS THAT TICK ME OFF

Skinny jeans on men
Don't chew with your mouth open
Never touch my ears

What Happens After Graduation

Enter the real world
Wish I could rewind four years
No cubicle please

Starring Samuel L. Jackson as Bone-fide Badass

Coach Carter is tough
He teaches gangstas to ball
Chant Rich wha'? Richmond!

The Big Dance

March Madness is here
My pick to win ain't Kansas
Mr. Robert Morris

Thrift Shopping

While at the food store

Capri Sun, milk, rum and lard

Buy one get one free

Turn that Frown Upside Down

When I get too sad
I tell myself to smile
Then I feel better

I win

There is this robber
Tried to break into my house
Like Borat, "I crush"

A Heavenly Combo

My breakfast diet
Wheaties: the breakfast of champs
And lactose-free milk

Legitimately Sick

Strep throat, colds, head aches
But what affects me the most:
The Brown Bag Syndrome

Sweet Home Chicago

To be anywhere
One place I would like to live
Chi-town, come to me

Oh, say can you see [a McDonald's over yonder]

Good ol’ USA
Land of the free and obese
Let's eat some MacDee’s

The Best Pizza Pie Ever

990 Pizza
Put an egg in the middle
Then it's a Fitness

I'm BAAAAAACK!

Haiku hiatus 
I have returned to writing

I blame it on beer