Tuesday, April 10, 2012

I'm not about that kind of paper...

Shout out to Maddie for this one.  Resonates clearly to DU students who have satiated their caffeine and study fix peering through Driscoll's windows:

Sitting at Jazzman's
Don't want to study today
Work hard, make money

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Worth the Clogged Arteries

Seder food tonight
Pass me the chopped liver please
Don't tell my doctor

Swimming Lessons

Baby Moses floats
Opened can of whoop tuchus
Pharaoh lost floatie

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Ode to His Airness: authored by Bo Brewer, Haikuist extraordinaire

Dunks in the morning
Fadeaway jumpers at night
Happy birthday Mike

(Meant to have been posted on 2/17).

Friday, February 17, 2012

Ode to my friend Tom

Some things never change
Tom Kennedy's claim to fame
The Weak Latte Champ

Friday, January 20, 2012

Pedal to the Metal!

My life in a nutshell
Speeding tickets connoisseur
Useless traffic signs

What I forgot to post on NYE...too soon?

Two thousand and twelve
Broncos Super Bowl winners
Happy New Years schmucks!

The Not-So Friendly Skies

Exit row is great
Lady with cane next to me
Blame her if we crash

An Ambitous Individual

All I want in life
A fruit punch water fountain
My dream will come true

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Inspired by a True Story

Eating a nice lunch
Homemade soup and an apple
Ouch, I bit my lip!

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Leisure Travel

Exit row is great
Lady with cane next to me
We need Samuel L.

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Cheers to #23

In Sandy Ah Go
Ranch dressing and chicken wings
Happy birthday Bo

I'm an Eligible Bachelor

My best pick up line
You must be good with a plow
Works every time

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

The Truth about the Real World

My job is awesome
Staring at a computer
The cubicle life

The Only Acceptable Monday Night Activity

Morrison's Monday
Karaoke and dancing
The Black Eyed Peas suck

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

'Tis the Beard Season

The time is here now
Mountain men and bros alike:
Novembeard season

Friday, September 24, 2010

Jersey Shore Tribute

Jager bombs always
Yo, fetch me a Heineken
Makes for a good night

Yo, Look at that Funny Guy

Some say I'm funny
I would like to think so too
My idol is Shaq

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

The Regulation Station

A thief in my house
Do I have to regulate?
That would not be good

The Big 3

Three gigantic tools
LeBron James, Chris Bosh, Dwayne Wade
Why not Chicago?

Ace of Cakes

When the dogs awake
That is when I bake a cake
Filled with paprika

Friday, July 23, 2010

A Quality Conversation in Haiku Form

A series of text messages between Mr. P and Maiku

P: I find that your claim
Of sobriety to be
Quite ridiculous

Maiku: Oh no he didn't
Wait for haiku backlash
Dragon is awake

P: I dare the dragon
To unleash his laughable
Wrath upon Preston

Maiku: Be patient my friend
The dragon is almost here
And won't hold mercy

Maiku: The dragon has arrived
He wrecked and pillaged cities
Including Wooster

P: The Pandamaci
Prince and Savior of Wooster
Shall slay this dragon

Maiku: Maiku is master
Some folks think they are better
What kind of dumb fools


Guess Who? [LeBron]

This one major schmuck
Some may say he is the King
But he's lost his crown

For a South Carolinian Friend

South Carolina
Better than those odd North folks
Sassafras Mountain

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

The Gyros Master

Jamal cooks gyros
Restaurant in Budapest
Makes my stomach churn

Friday, July 9, 2010


Skinny jeans on men
Don't chew with your mouth open
Never touch my ears!

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Unemployment Blues

Right now I'm jobless
Six-figures plus benefits
I should just deal drugs

What Happens After Graduation

Enter the real world
Wish I could rewind four years
No cubicle please

Monday, April 5, 2010

Let's Go Rockies

Colorado Rox
Will be '10 World Series Champs
Mark my words right now

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Starring Samuel L. Jackson as Bone-fide Badass

Coach Carter is tough
He teaches gangstas to ball
Chant Rich wha'? Richmond!

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Quite the Milestone

My fiftieth blog
This better be a good one
But I have nothing...

The Big Dance

March Madness is here
My pick to win ain't Kansas
Mr. Robert Morris

Thrift Shopping

While at the food store
Capri Sun, milk, rum and lard
Buy one get one free

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Pesach Sadness

Pesach is coming
Should be bracing myself now
Matzah makes me cry

Thursday, March 4, 2010

The Financial Sector

Stocks, bonds and Forex
Wall Steet, Dow Jones and NASDAQ
Apple stock fell, oy!

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

China is Excellent

Two thousand and ten
Chinese Year of the Tiger
I like egg foo young

Turn that Frown Upside Down

When I get too sad
I tell myself to smile
Then I feel better

Sunday, February 7, 2010

The Most Televised Program

Super Bowl game day
Do I care about the match?
Just the commercials

Monday, February 1, 2010

Move Over Budapest

The best place to be
Capital of Hungary:
Morrison's Kettő

I Win!

There is this robber
Tried to break into my house
Like Borat, "I crush"

A Heavenly Combo

My breakfast diet
Wheaties: the breakfast of champs
And lactose-free milk

Legitimately Sick

Strep throat, colds, head aches
But what affects me the most:
The Brown Bag Syndrome

Sweet Home Chicago

To be anywhere
One place I would like to live
Chi-town, come to me

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Soar Like an Eagle

One thing I noticed
I wish I could fly like a bird
A kosher chicken

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Oh, say can you see [a McDonald's over yonder!]

Good ol' USA
Land of the free and obese
Let's eat some MacDees

Thank God!

The Denver Nuggets
AKA Denver Thuggets
No Gilbert Arenas

The Best Pizza Pie Ever

990 Pizza
Put an egg in the middle
Then it's a Fitness


Haiku hiatus 
I have returned to writing
I blame it on beer

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Not a Haiku, but I thought I'd include this anyway...

Here is a list of things (in progress) I realized back home that I took granted while studying abroad in Hungary:
  1. cheaper and a larger variety of cereal (and lactose-free milk)
  2. free refills on drinks at restaurants (nagyon jó)
  3. durable cleaning sponges
  4. never having to hear (or know) the expression "hú há!"
  5. clothes dryer machines and scented dryer sheets
  6. Pabst Blue Ribbon (selected as America's Best in 1893)

Thursday, December 24, 2009

The Holy Land

The Land of Israel
Kickin' butt and takin' names
Laffa shwarma, please

To My Budapest Bro-Force Bros

Brothers of Bro-Force
Don't ever stop bro-ing out
We will reunite

Buda, Pest, and the Law of Man

Buda and the Pest
Separated by Danube
Bros come before hoes

Hold Me Back!

Terminator 2
Do not mess with Arnie S.

On My Way Out

The time has come now
I have to leave Hungary
Bye bye Dreher sör

Good Riddance

Buda recaptured
The year 1686
Peace out Hungary

Finom Food

Dear Jó Reggelt bars
You have devoured my soul
Give me back my life!

Friday, December 18, 2009

Hello Gypsy

One child system
It screwed over the gypsies
Give me your tears now!

Home Cookin'

Paprikás csirke
A main Hungarian dish
Damn euro mullets

Kids: Don't do Drugs

Heroin and meth
My favorite past times
Don't use clean needles

Supertroopers Style

Here is my order
I want liter o' cola
Not a large Farva!

Intellectual Torture

Three hour classes
Might as well pull out my hair
Too bad I'm balding

Man > Woman

Male testosterone
Women's suffrage: huge mistake
Girl bake me a cake!

Mother Russia

Vladimir Putin
Righteous Russian legit dude
He makes a mean borscht

Thursday, December 3, 2009


Russian KGB
Stands for "Kickin German Butt"
Watch your back, Boris

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Quality Tunes

Listen to music
Some Boy George and Culture Club
Raunchy transvestite

Middle Eastern Food

Ahh, living the dream
I eat kilos of hummus
Then cry to my mom

Down Time

Kickin' it legit
I do things in my free time
Such as smoking crack

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Drinking in Moderation

Hungarian wine
Too bad they don't have good beer
Detox here I come!

Political and Spiritual Leaders

Fidel is Cuban
No one likes that dictator
Hell yeah St. Steven


In giant buckets
We will all live together

A Little Bit O' Magyarul

Írik haiku most
You speak great Hungarian
Go America!

Tuesday, November 24, 2009


Glorious Poland
Indigenous land of the Po's
Put that donut down!

Palinka is Good

Enjoying Europe
Like a shot of palinka
Hoo ha! Ah ee uh

Bor, Bor, Bor

Drink wine in Eger
Igen, Egri Bikavér
Then pass out at lunch

Hungarian Beer, mmmmmm...

Pint of Borsodi
You can drink it from a bowl
Tastes like processed Spam

You're Beautiful

Blonde, brunette, redhead
We are a gyönyörű group
Don't look at me, swan!

When in Budapest...

Budapesten most
Bocsánat, banán vagyok
Fábián sztriptíz


Hungarian food
Wheaties: the Breakfast of Champions
Give me some goulash!

The Clap

Place: Eastern Europe
Time: When the clock strikes high noon
Why: I have the clap!